drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
