need another drink. this is the easiest way
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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