i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize