oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My dick has a subreddit
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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