Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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