"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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