I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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