I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
