At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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