This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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