I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
