He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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