its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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