Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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