Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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