Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
