i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
