my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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