News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You were trust falling into bushes
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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