I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
