So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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