so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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