On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
