Dual....:-)
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
