May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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