Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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