ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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