She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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