Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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