yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
