I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
