She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Randomize
