Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
