can we get nightvision for the apartment?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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