if you like me you must not know who I am
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
