I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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