I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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