I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
