Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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