these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
