singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
