Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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