your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
