I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Randomize
