Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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