I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
