Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
