just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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