Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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