Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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