Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
