You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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