I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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