I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
