All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
