me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
