did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize