i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
