im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
